Stage 1 - "Hmmm. I don't really like that last paragraph. Oh, whatever. They can't all be winners."

Stage 2 - "Well, this entire piece kind of blows. Maybe I just need to power through ."

Stage 3 - "OK. Everything I write sucks. Maybe I need to switch it up. Let's try writing something silly. Hmmm. *Peter starts typing* 'Top ten pick-up lines that almost never work on women... #10 If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U on my penis... *Peter stops typing* I hate me."

Stage 4 - "Why didn't anyone tell me that I couldn't write?? The time I've wasted. I could have gone to Med school and -- Well, that might have involved working. Law school then!"

Stage 5 - "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Hate. Mmmm pancakes."

Stage 6 - "I'm not REALLY going to write. I'll just jot down a few lines..."

Stage 7 - "I am the GREATEST WRITER IN THE WORLD!!!! When Oprah has me on for her bookclub thingy, will I be able to bring guests with me backstage? I'll bring my 11th grade English teacher. Am I applying myself now??? (Beat.) Hmmm. I don't really like that last paragraph."