INT. YOUR TYPICAL GLORIOUS MANSION
Bitzy and Muffy share laughs over some tea and scones. Muffy's husband Prescott enters...
Prescott: Ladies.
Muffy: Welcome back, ducky. Wherever have you been?
Prescott: I'm just returning from the stables. I have been riding Penelope for hours.
Bitzy: Didn't you sell all of your horses last week?
Prescott: Yes, why do you ask?
Beat. Then much guffawing.
Prescott: Well, if you two will excuse me, my secretary is in my den with some papers for me to sign.
Prescott exits.
Bitzy: Now you must tell me about your romp with your tennis pro.
Muffy: Well, for starters, he is very well-mannered, but with a soupçon of scamp in him.
Bitzy: Oh ho ho. Muffy! You are terrible.
Muffy: He does this thing... with his tongue. My word!
Bitzy: Show me!
Muffy: You know I haven't done that since boarding school! Oh get over here and let me lift up that Dolce & Gabanna Prince of Wales pleated skirt with Bordeaux satin lace slip.
Bitzy starts over when a man servant enters.
Man Servant: Ahem. Excuse me, madam. I have your 1982 Chateau Lafite.
Muffy: Wentworth, come in. I think we both need a good rogering.
Man Servant: Madam, I don't know...
Muffy and Bitzy pull him down on the Piedmonte Recamier.
Man Servant: Ah... Indeed. Ohhhhhhhh good show!
Prescott enters and is aghast.
Prescott: You started without me?
Bitzy pulls him down on the floor.
Prescott: That's a capital idea. Yes! More of -- Bitzy Featherbottom! That is NOT where my monocle goes!
Labels: seemed funnier in my head, short fiction
posted by Peter at 5:37 PM
